Cityboy's articles
Submitted by Cityboy on Thu, 09/02/2010 - 00:35.
When I worked in the City there was nothing as appalling as the unremitting horror that I felt on the last day of my summer holiday. I’d be lying around a pool at some Ibizan finca staring into the middle distance unable to comprehend the hideous reality that I was about to face. My sangria would be left warming up in the afternoon sun and my holiday doorstopper book would be left unread. Communication was virtually impossible and my girlfriend would know that nothing on this sweet earth could relieve me of my despicable depression.
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Submitted by Cityboy on Mon, 06/28/2010 - 21:57.
There is nothing on God’s sweet earth that used to scare me more than getting up in front of a large group of half-cut characters I haven’t met before and attempting to entertain them with witty banter for twenty minutes. A year ago, given the choice, I would have preferred to have covered my gonads in Pedigree Chum and ran naked around Battersea Dogs home than attempt such stress-inducing foolishness. Unfortunately, a few months ago someone made me an offer I couldn’t refuse to deliver an after-dinner speech and, with tightly clenched buttocks, I accepted the challenge. I did this partly because of my belief that we should all face our fears or we will be doomed to be controlled by them … and partly because of the vast amount of wonga I’d been offered!
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Submitted by Cityboy on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 19:09.
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If I had ten grand every time some character told me that financial regulators were going to start cracking down on insider trading … I’d be almost as rich as I actually am. However, my former colleagues (yes, a few do still talk to me) have been telling me recently that this practice is going to be the next big target for the City regulator, the Financial Services Authority. And, frankly, it’s about time considering their farcical record to date.
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Submitted by Cityboy on Tue, 02/09/2010 - 19:16.
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During my twelve year career as a stockbroker (which strangely enough happened to coincide exactly with what Gordon Brown called ‘the age of irresponsibility’!) I received annual bonuses which grew from £14,000 to £500,000 in an almost perfect straight line. During those boom times I never once felt that what I was doing justified the cash my gormless bosses threw at me and found it almost unbelievable that they kept doing so year in year out. With hindsight I suffered from something psychobabble aficionados refer to as ‘imposter syndrome’ throughout my entire City career.
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