Last Cityboy Column

The London Paper  –  16 June 2008

“Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead … Like anybody, I would like to live a long life … But although I’ve seen the promised land I may not get there with you. But I’m happy. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man”. The day after Martin Luther King uttered those prophetic words he was shot and killed by James Earl Ray. That was forty long years ago and the dream he had of a peaceful and unified world has sadly not materialized.

I wouldn’t dare dream of comparing myself to one of my all time heroes – frankly, to do so would justify my own premature termination. However, on Wednesday my identity will be revealed in the pages of this fair paper. Then on Thursday week my book ‘Cityboy’, which blows the lid on the hideous goings on that I’ve witnessed over my twelve year career as a stockbroker, is published. This book’s going to break the long-established code of silence that governs the Square Mile and if that doesn’t result in contract killers being sent my way by the ‘men in grey suits’ I’m a monkey’s uncle. So, this might be my last week on earth … but it will all have been worth it if I’ve helped reveal the truth about Cityboys’ vice-fuelled lifestyles and the pernicious influence their greedy, selfish envy-inducing behaviour has on London, its inhabitants and ultimately the world.

Whether I get exterminated or not, this will be my last ‘City boy’ column. I can’t exactly write an anonymous insider’s account of life in the City when my identity is known and I no longer waste my precious time boring the pants of clients in that tiresome job. What readers may not be aware of is that if I hadn’t had been given the opportunity to confess my sins and vent my vitriol every week in this column over the last couple of years I may have actually gone insane. I have often felt close to the edge anyway but without the release that my weekly ranting provided I genuinely may have had a breakdown. Certain readers have already suggested in emails to me that they and other Londoners have actually been witnessing a psychological meltdown of sorts anyway. Frankly, Cityboys across the Square Mile should thank thelondonpaper, for without this column a City-based Columbine-style massacre may well have occurred!

And so I bid you a very fond farewell … but truth be told this is hopefully ‘au revoir’ and not ‘adieu’. As one door closes another door opens. Although my role in this column ends, if I’m not killed, I will henceforth be writing a new weekly column on Mondays in this paper called ‘Boy in the City’. But this time my insane rantings will no longer be restricted to those evil folk in the City. Oh no. Henceforth, anything will be fair game although I’ll make a cursory effort to focus on my preposterous life in this great city we live in. You have been warned!

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