The Budget

The London Paper  –  24 Apr 2009

The major conclusion that I reached from this week’s budget is that Gordon Brown has got about as much chance of still being prime minister in 14 months time as Heather Mills McCartney has of winning an arse kicking competition. In fact, I promise right now that if New Labour is still running this country come mid-2010 then I will smear my gonads with Pedigree Chum and run naked through Battersea Dog’s Home.

The simple fact is that Alistair ‘don’t call me’ Darling has blatantly revealed in his budget that this country is, to use the technical term, ABSOLUTELY F*$K£D … and he’s supposed to be the optimistic one! Apparently, unemployment will increase by a million by the end of 2010 and the economy will shrink by 3.5% this year, instead of the 2.5% growth Darling predicated a year ago.

Higher government spending, lower tax receipts and bank bail outs have also meant that Darling now predicts that public debt will rise to £703bn by 2013-14. This equates to 79% of GDP – almost double the 40% limit that Gordon ‘prudence’ Brown had previously banged on about. This hideous debt has led some to claim Britain is almost bankrupt and whilst that is nonsense it will surely take a decade or more of tax increases and cuts in spending before the Government can balance the books again. Great!

What this all means is that things are going to be feeling worse and worse for the average man on the street as Britain moves towards a May/June 2010 election.

So, what is Darling’s great ruse to save the day for New Labour? An increase in the top rate of tax to 50% for those earning over £150K, that’s what. This move seems very political since it won’t raise that much cash. It’s designed to divert newspaper headlines from his depressing analysis of the UK’s dreadful economic plight and wrong-foot David Cameron whose support for the previously mooted increase in tax to 45% was opposed by many of his colleagues. I suppose it’s also supposed to be a ‘popular tax’ because it will hit bankers who, of course, are the nasty critters who created all this unpleasantness. Boris ‘Blondie’ Johnson has claimed this will mean all the Cityboys will head off to pastures new but I doubt very much they’ll leave the greatest city on earth to live in some dull place like Zurich or Frankfurt.

It comes to something when a Government that faces an election decides a tax increase is all that it can do to win friends and confuse people. If we had any previous doubts I think we can now safely say that Cameron will be our PM next year.

God’s teeth! If that disingenuous ex-Etonian chinless wonder is the answer then it must be a damn stupid question!

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